Not wanting to sit there waiting for 4 hours, I put on my old Army fatigues and stuck a patch on the

pocket that I downloaded from the Internet. When I went into the E.R ., I noticed that 3/4 of the

people got up and left. I guess they decided that they weren't that sick after all.

Here's the patch. Feel free to use it the next time you're in need of quicker emergency service.

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Amazing Claude

It was entertainment night at the senior center and the Amazing Claude was
topping the bill. People came from miles around to see the famed hypnotist do his stuff.
As Claude went to the front of the meeting room, he announced,
Unlike most hypnotists who invite two or three people up here to be put
into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."
The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique
pocket watch from his coat.

"I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very
special watch.
It's been in my family for six generations.
He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting,
Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch..
." The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light
gleaming off its polished surface.

Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly,-----
it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking
into a hundred pieces.

Shit!" said the Hypnotist...

It took three weeks to clean up the senior center